Must...become...functional

This evening I have an audition to teach GRE classes for Kaplan. I need a new job, I can teach, they pay well...it could be a match made in heaven. Or something. Of course, my voice sounds all phlegmy and breathless, and it's taken me forever to come up with an idea for a 5-minute "how to x" audition, so the odds are not as good as they could be.

I think I've settled on "how to write a news article" for my audition. It's something for which I can probably count on some audience participation ("Who here has ever read a news article before?") and it can be done in 5 minutes. Even if I have to cut off some of whatever I mean to say, it won't be a huge sacrifice. So wish me luck...I do need a new job, and I can't really afford to work for $8/hour on campus at this point in my life.

(no subject)

Why is it that all southern recipes have to involve a ham hock and/or bacon? I know they taste good, but come on! Can it really be that hard to come up with a vegetarian recipe?

I'm trying to figure out what to do with black-eyed peas and okra. I guess throw them in a can of tomatoes, rice and some salt and call it dinner.